She's dancing with the stars

...How much I hate this place. This site.

Okay so the site is okay, the stuff on it is interesting about music and the pictures and what not but the people on it are ruining it.

Maybe not them all but most of them.

There is far too much drama and negative fucks and whiney pathetic teenagers on this site it's making it shit.

Mibba is so much more controlled and the editors are right there if you do something wrong, which is a good thing. It gets rid of all the little shits.

I feel strongly about this. It's so stupid to do so but I do.

Hence why I shall be logging off for the last time. There is nothing here for me anymore. I'll be on to keep up with gossip and Mark's twilight blog but that will be it. I don't need to be logged in for that so there you go.

Oh yeah and happy birthday...to me.

Over and out for the last time.

One: New panic song = Utter and complete lovvvve. I almost burst into tears when I heard it, for no real reason other than happiness. I adore it with so much passion. The only thing that sucks is the fact that I can't download it 'cause it's only available in fucking America. Sucks ass.

I was going to mention this next one anyway, hence why I even came on before I saw New Perspective was going to be available to hear:

Two: If I don't have a My Chmical Romance album in my hands by early next year, my head will explode. I'm not even joking, I'm constantly checking the website and what not but it's just not enough for me. They keep giving us glimpses and it's getting both annoying and frustrating because I want something, anything. I don't think I'd even care if it was shit. It would be them and that's all I need.

Cobra and The Used will tide me over till next year but if I don't have one early 2010, there will be furious hell to pay.

That was all. Hope all is well.

xo

I don't tend to keepup with things on here really apart from things going on in my little bubble of a world so I'm a bit confused as to why people are so pissed at Gabe Saporta. All I know is that it has something to do with him signing the Millionaires or something?

Is that all he's done or am I missing something here? I don't really understand as to why people could be angry for that. It's only a band, so what? Is it the end of the world? No. If I'm missing some important information then please tell me.

Love S x

Gahgahgah

I keep saying that I'll post more and fanfictions and what not but I never do. I will this time hopefully. I'm just a bit mixed with my stories at the moment for I don't know what stories to focus on and I keep changing my mind and get into different moods about it. I'm co-writing with someone on Mibba so maybe I should focus on that but then again,, knowing me I wont.

Not much new going on on. Peaches and Pippa, two of my cats [Pippa is mine, she loooves me and barely leaves my side] got neutered last week and now have to wear those cones on their heads. It's kinda funny cause they bash into things and when they walk it looks like they are swaying to music, but it's ashame at the same time.

I'll post cobra pictures soon. I've posted Alex and I but I'll post more later and some of the two newest cats soon too.

I've left school now, officially. I never have to go back again which is kinda sad. I'll miss it. I feel really grown up and things now too. Can't wait for the summer weather. We had some really good days last month but it's back to rain and stuff now. I wish I was eighteen already and was able to drink legally, it would make the summer more fun.

OH! big news. I'm going to see Micheal Mcintyre in october!!! With my mum and dad. We have the worst seats ever but it doesn't matter. I litterly can't wait. He's this really funny comedian and I think i'm basically in love with him XD

Talking of love. I think i've developed a bit of a guilty pleasure for the Jonas Brothers. There's so many stories on Mibba about them and I just wanted to read something good once and really got in to it.

I of course still have the very unhealthy obsession with David Tennant. I'm actually going to cry when he leaves Dr Who. I know I will.

My Chemical Romance. They are really going to have to step it up in my opinion. There have been so many epic brilliant albums made since they've been away, [Gym Class Heroes, Fall Out Boy, and expectantly Cobra Starship and The Used to name just a few] They are going to have to really pull it out of the bag. I'm sure I'll like it non the less but unless it's something really good and fresh and different then it will not replace my favourite album. That's just my opinion though.

I just wish they'd hurry the heck up! i'm getting a bit impatiant.

I think that's it really.

Bye for now I guess!

xoxo

I just watched the MTV Movie Awards. Being in the Uk means it was only just on today and I was at work fro the first time it was on.

I'm trying to figure out if I am the only one that has any proper open minded opinion on Twilight the movie.

I've never said this before [half in the hope that if I watch it more then I'll like it more] but the movie just isn't really that good.

In fact, no, that's wrong. The movie is good. Kirsten Stewart isn't. She's a horrible actress and I really do not understand how she managed to get best Female performance when she was up against the likes of Angelina Jolie and Kate Winslet. Maybe it's because I've read the books but I seriously don't think that's what it is. look at Harry potter, I don't think any of those actors are absoloutly dreadful.

It looks as if New Moon might just be as bad but I'm really hoping it's not. I don't want the movies to be bad but her acting just makes it absoloutly shocking. Watching her accept the award just prooves she can't act, that she is being completely herself which is kind of scary considering it must be really hard to become friends with her if she's that damn awkward.

I don't know what it is but I just don't like her.

And it just goes to show that these award shows are all teenage based and voted for by teenager, which is fine and expected and all but can't these teenagers have another proper critical opinion other than "oh Rob Pattinson's in that and he's hot so vote for it for any category no matter how shit the actor is"

ok I shall go and rant else where now. buh-bye.

Christ I haven't been on here for months. Well I sort of have but only looked at the front page.

Journals have changed since I last posted one.

just a kind of update on my life not that any of you really care anymore but it helps me get it out so I can clear my mind for new stuff.

I said about working at Tesco's right? Well if I didn't I have now. It's fun, some really cool people to work with (some rotters too but whatever they're not even worth the time of day sometimes.)

I also work at an after School Club for kids on Tuesdays too. That's fun, all the kids are awesome, even if they don't listen to a word I say when I try to tell them off.

Going to see Cobra Starship on Thursday with some friends from work so that should be fun. I got the tickets at the last minute but at least I got them. Also the friend I was supposed to be going with backed out so I have a spare ticket, I'll try and sell it at the concert, if not then anyone in the Glasgow area wanting to go to a concert? lol.

I've left school :'( My last day was last Wedensday. Instead of a traditional Muck up day we got to have fun and games and mess ourselves and each other up instead. It was amazingly fun, even though I didn't get that messy, I stayed out of the way mostly. I am officially left on the 11th of June after our leavers conference. I have only two more exams left then I'm done. I got all my English stuff done too eventually :) What a relief! Our English class (+teachers) is going out for a meal on the 9th. Awkward much?

I'm going to college next year. Should be fun. Meet new people an stuff. This time two years ago (heck maybe even just a year ago) I would have been shitting myself about doing that. Now I can't wait. I love meeting new people.

I'm 18 soon. Really can't wait for that, about 4 months to go I think! Can finally go out and drink legally! Heck, I'm looking forward to selling it more than I am drinking it! (Can't sell alcohol at work unless you are 18 or over) I can finally have a proper social life!

 I got two new cats. Pixie and Pippa. We're keeping with the 'P's' Pixie, Pippa and Peaches, ha. I'll get pictures up eventually.

I think that's all my news really. It's all a big deal to me even if it's not to anyone else. och well.

Ciao! xoxo

So an update on what is going on not that anyone really cares since I'm never on here anymore. I appologise.

So the bad stuff or good stuff first? I'll go with bad, get it out of the way.

So last weekend i went down to see my Nana Jan. She's not actually my grandmother, she's my mom's best friend who happens to be like a grandmother to me and since I don't have any real ones left she's the closest to one. She's not well. She's on steroids and she can't breath properly. She doesn't think she has long left, but she has been saying that for years. Still it's not looking good.

I had the cold this week, quite badly actually butI'm getting over that now.

Saffy,

Got a tumour in her mouth about three weeks ago. The vets thought it may have been an infection to begin with but they realised on monday that it was actually a tumor. Because she was 17, she wouldn't have been able to handle the anasetic to have it removed to she had to be put down on Tuesday. It was heart wrenching. It still feels strange around the house without her. The kitten,, Peaches is missing her like crazy

I have a load of school shit to be doing that I can't be bothered doing so I'm gonna be in trouble at school on monday I know I am. I just can't get into it and I feel guilty.

The good stuff.

We're getting two new kittens next weekend. We went to the SPCA centre in Dundee and there were two kittens whose owner died. Kittens were the best option because we didn't want them to boss Peaches around since she's been there the longest and she should now be in charge. We needed another cat to keep her company and these two came as a pair so we had to go for them. They are really sweet. They'll be called Pipa and Pixie.

I have an interview for college in March for a child care course so hopefully that will go well.

Everything seems to be going okay at school with friends and things too. I used to feel a bit insecure and stuff but I've been speaking to a load of people that i wouldn't have normally, I think it's because it's the last year and everyone wants to get on.

I will start posting a new story I started on Mibba here again, maybe if anyone wants it. Are fanfictions even still popular on here?

I think that's it. Nothing exciting as usual.

xoxo

Wow two in one day. ha.

You know when you get in a funk about nothing and you know your in this funk but just can't be arsed to pull yourself out of it? Yeah I got into that yesterday. Boy was I in such a funk. It's frustrating but I like it at the same time.

Anyway guess what got it out of me?

My Chem. I watched desolation row and almost cried with happiness.

I just didn't realise how much I missed them. I mean I got Leathermouth's CD and I like it but it's just not the same. Well obviously but lie I thought it would somehow substitute for something.

Instead of the pissed off funk that I was in yesterday it's now turned kind of down and fed up funk. I want more than just one song and video. I want more goddamnit!

Meh I'll survive I'm sure.

Holy fishsticks....

It just took me at least five minutes to figure out how to post a journal. That's crazy. And now I've found it I'm beggining to wonder about my intelligence as it was so damn easy and pretty much in the same place it was the last time I posted one.

Where have I been? I mean I came on nearly everyday but just to see if I had comments etc. Never did.

But I think I can be on for a bit more than that from now on or at least by after feburary?

Why do I always come on and want to do stuff and get involved with things when I have to be revising for stuff at school? I have no idea. My Prelims are in 5 days. I have not picked up one thing to revise yet. I think that's the latest I've left it. Sixth year does that to you. You just think you have all the time in the world for everything when you don't.

I haven't even been doing anything while I haven't been on. Seriously fuck all. It was just plain CBA-ness.

God I want to write something. No need to. [discluding homework ;P]

I'll start writing/posting again and get around with comments and stuff, eventually. If I can  be arsed.

Boring me now.

ttfn

xoxo

no internet.

not that anyone would have noticed.

have fun without me.

see ya's for now.

Steph xoxo

Happy birthday to me

Happy brithday to me

Another year older and I don't feel any different.

Ach well.

xoxo

You were right there. Right next to me. For once, I was a small, small part of your life.

Your hand was lying right next to mine; your fingers were bent into a comfortable curl. I wanted to reach out and run my cold fingertips over the pearly white skin just to feel the warmth of the back of your hand. You don't understand how hard it was not to. You just don't understand at all.

I think you know. Know that I like you. You keep your distance and you look over just to see if I'm looking at you every now and then. Or maybe I'm taking that the wrong way. Maybe you like me and want to look at me for that reason. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself.

You moved your hand as if you knew what I wanted to do and didn't want to tempt me any longer. Although that's not your style is it? You like to think you are adored and loved and that every girl wants to be with you.

I'm wrong and I know it. You don't think that. You're humble and sweet and just near enough perfect. I want to think badly of you so that I'm not disappointed when you don't turn out to be how I thought you were.

I said you were near enough perfect. I was wrong there too. If you were anywhere near perfect for me you would talk to me properly and take notice in me. You would be the first one to make any kind of move because you would know I wouldn't.

I want to be in on the conversation you are having. I am part of it but I'm not talking. I'm too scared that if I open my mouth all the butterflies in my stomach will come up. I'm scared of giving a piece of wrong information that you could hold against me later. I'm scared of messing up and looking like an idiot.

I'll regret not talking, later but right now I don't care. Whatever is holding me back from doing anything is too strong. I'm trying to get through it but by the time I think I've got it down the moment has past and you are leaving.

You don't even look back as you leave. Half of my mind is telling me that it's because you don't want to be obvious and show me that you like me. The other half is already kicking myself for not speaking up. I almost blurt it out there and ten to try and get you to stay but my friend's laugh stops me. She knows, and I start to wonder if I'm obvious or if it's just because she knew anyway.

Another opportunity wasted. I wonder how many more there are going to be. That may have been the last one. It may have been the first of many.

Why do you do this to me? You make me insecure, anxious, self conscious, scared, happy and sad. And you know what the worst thing about it all is? You may know I like you or you may not, but you certainly have no idea what you make go through my head. You have no idea that you are single handily breaking me down into a mess of confusion and suspicion.

I want to give up but I can't even do that. You want to know why? Because I'm scared that as soon as I give up on you, you will admit feelings for me or start to become closer to me. And I just don't want to. You may make me go through hell and back but I wouldn't do it for anyone else but you. It's moments like these, no matter how small, that make it worthwhile.

Wow long time no..uh write?

No one reads my dribble anymore anyway but still.

Yesterday at school we got this meeting [6th year is full of meetings, wtf?] about going to America next year, to live with a family and go to high school for an extra year. I want to do it!

Everyone probably thinks why the hell would you want to do that? But you don't understand, I'd love to go to America and just not have to reposibility of going off to College or University yet. And imagine meeting all those new people and learing all about a completely different culture. I was speaking to a friend of mine who had the oportunity last year andshe wishing she had done it.

I would miss a lot back here and I would miss everyone so, so much but they'd still be here when I came back and I'd probably appreatiate them a hell of a lot more.

So many people want to do it but my mum suggested that if I don't get to do it or it's too expensive[I plan on getting a job and save, save, saving] then I could maybe go and live with my uncle in Canada for a year and just do the same there too. The only thing with that is that, that's family and it could end up in a disaster since I've never really been around them for more than a couple of weeks at the most.

So fingers crossed for America. I'll find out more in october when there is another meeting.

I so want to do this. I'd love it I know I would. I don't think I've ever wanted anything quite as much as I want this.

Well that's all for an update I think. Apart from that my life is dull. xo

I don't know why I even bother anymore.

I don't know why, after all this, I don't expect it.

I'm gonna do something about it tomorrow, no matter what the outcome will be.

I can't deal with this shit anymore and I shouldn't have to. They don't even realise they are doing it. They are too absorbed in their own worlds to notice anything to do with me.

I continue to get into friendships like this and I continue to be the one who gets hurt. What is the point?

It's good to tell the truth and the way you feel and if they actually do care about me they will listen and fix it. If not, then at least I now know what kind of friends they are.

I'll keep you updated and tell you the full story later. If any of you even care. Doubt it. 

I've just found the band The Cab. I'd heard of them but never listened to them before[I miss out on a lot of bands that way] and I think it's safe to say I love them.

Over and out xoxo

I'm never one to put up journals that are simple and to the point but this one is.

I'mma go curl up and die now.

K?

Thnx.

Buh-bye now.

Don't even respond.

It's pointless and I'm not looking for a response.

But if you never hear from me again then I'll have suffcated myself under my bed covers.

I have a headache.

First day back at school and what an eventful day it was.

First of all it was pouring of rain when I was going to school but luckily i managed to get a lift off a friend so that worked out well.

The when I go in I was told we were getting off tomorrow 'cause the council is having a strike which means - no dinner ladies, janitors, etc, etc. I was like oh good! But then we got told only the fifth and sixth year had to go in. Everyone was in ho-har about that, I mean why single us out? That was until we got told that everyone had to come in after all and it just meant there would be no school dinners and no one to clean up after us [like they do that anyway].

Then I find out we had to look after the first years again, because two days just wasn't enough for them. -rolls eyes- they are so loud and I think that's partly a reason why I have a sore head.

Then of course I'm off to reggie and I almost have some sort of hysterical fit because guess who didn't leave after all? After all that and he doesn't leave [if you don't know who I'm on about then see some previous journals] My mind is soo confuddled with that at the moment and has been for the past two days and thanks to that, I woke up at four thirty this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.

I've started my last year now though so I'm going to make it my best, if I can. I'm going to bloody well try anyway.

We'll see what happens I guess. -sigh-

Why does everything come at once?

Hardly do anything in the holidays then go out three times in to days. Granted, each time I walked around town or to the beach but still. Aren't I miss popular?

My legs ache like hell. I've not done so much exercise the whole holidays. Haha.

I went to see about another job today but it was for during the week. Fucking great. Is there no where in this stupid sorry excuse for a town that will give me a job?

I need the money! My mum and dad need some of the money! Why wont anyone give me a effin job?! Grr.

Is there a difference between thinking and hoping? 'Cause I saw a guy today that just happened to be one my old crushes. I hoped thought he had fallen off the face of the planet. I was shaking after I saw him and had to sit at the bus stop to calm myself down. That can be good.

Also when I was on the bus, one of my rings got caught on one of the pole things that have the stop button on them, and because I'd tried to move, my ring bent and my finger is now bruised.

The picture makes it look less bruised than it actually is. Hopefully my dad will be able to fix my ring.

Gah. My ass is getting sore from sitting on my stupidly un comfortable computer chair. I think I'll go to bed now.

Night all. xo

Gah. It's been like- just about forever. Not that anyone really reads my ramblings but still. I like to think my computer likes it.

What's going on in my life?

Well. My exam results were actually pretty good. I don't know what I was worrying about. I got 2 A's and a C. I passed Higher English! Whoop. I'm still waiting on my maths though I just need to find out what's going on with it because I got a no award which is funny because I sat the damn exam! and as far as I know past all the little assesments I needed to. i'm blaming my maths teacher either way the stupid woman that she is.

Oh and I didn't get theresults through the post like any normal person. No my postie seemed to see to that. He just didn't mail them and now they are fuck knows where. I got them over the phone though so it was okay.

Uhm okay so I go back to school in exactly one week time. I actually can't wait. I'm going out of my mind on my own nearly everyday, left to my thoughts. It's enough to mae anyone go insane. I'm going to try and fill this week up with so much to keep my mind off it. Go for a walk tomorrow, don't know what on wedensday yet, go out with Emma thrusday, maybe do something with Robyn on Friday or something.

Went for that job that I went for and didn't get again. I still didn't get it. Fuck them. I'll find something else. Eventually, hopefully.

Ahh. What else? I told you about Fall Out Boy. Er. I don't think there's anything else. Oh my..about two weeks and that is all the news I have. F-in brilliant. Look how exciting my life is.

Anyway. I guess that's it.

Tattie bye. xoxo

I'mma see Fall Out Boy again!

Glasgow SECC. 21st October. Now that's a big venue for them, it's the biggest one in Glasgow so I'm kinda really syked for it.

I was hesitant at first [for a good few hours] whether I should go or not because I have no one to go with [Emma wont take half the day off school for it] and for the money and stuff but I decided the fact that I'd see them again and have fun anyway and beable to rub it in everyones faces I'd go. Mum and Dad are going too but are going to sit up n the seats, not wanting to be surrounded by screaming teenagers =]

I'm quite excited now that I think about it. Yippee. Mum's about to put money in the bank and then we'll order the tickets. =]]

xoxo

1.Full Name:
- Stephannie Lynne M [I'd rather not give my last name]

2. Nick name:
- Steph, Stephie, [last name], cookie

3. Birthday:
- September 30^th 1991

4. Place of Birth
- Ninewells hospital, dundee

5. Zodiac Sign:
- Libra

6. Male or Female:
- Female

7. Course:
- What?

8. School:
- Arbroath High

9. Occupation:
- Student

10. Residence:
- Arbroath, Scotland?

11. Screen Name(s):
- MSN: X_You.Do.You.Die_X@hotmail.com

[your appearance]
12. Hair Color:
- Naturally brown, but at the moment a mixture of all sorts

13. Hair Long or Short:
- Medium

14. Eye Color:
- Blue

16. Height:
- 5"something

17. Skin Color:
- At the moment: sunburnt red. I don't tan

18. Shoe Size:
- 7,8,9 depends on shoe.

19. Braces?:
- hmph yes.

20. Glasses
- yes

21. Piercings:
- Ears.

23. Righty or Lefty:
- Righty

24. First kiss:
- I don't count it so none.

25. First B.F/ G.F.:
- I'd rather not

27. First award?
- Christ, probably some sports day thing or for Brownies

28. First Sport You Joined?
- Uhm, Trampolin-ing? Or swimming.

29. First pet:
- Uh..either hamster or my cat.

30. First Vacation:
- Oh god I dunno. Canada I think.

31. First date:
- . . .

32. First Love:
- Nope.

[favorites]
33. Movie:
- Anything with Will Smith in it. Jersey Girl, can't remember any others.

34. TV show??
- Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, Dr Who, Top Gear.

35. Color:
- All the colours of the rainbow except any yucky greens or browns

36. Band:
- I could be here a while. My chem., the Used, Fall Out Boy, innerpartysystem, paramore, panic at the disco, the Spill Canvas, Snow patrol.  And a load more

37. Song:
- Oh crickey. At the moment: Spill Canvas – This night will go as follows or 3685. oh or Snow Patrol – You Could Be Happy.

38. Food:
- Italian? Or indian

39. Drink:
- Milkshake. Or just any kind of fruit juice.

40. Candy:
- Anything gummy [gummy worms, bears, etc]

41. Sport To Play
- Hmm, football? Proper football, soccer football. I don't play it often though.

42. Sport To Watch:
- Oh football[soccer] or tennis

43. Brand Of Clothing:
- don't care.

44: Boutique/Store:
- Uhm I dunno anything.

46. Animal:
- Cats

47: Book:
- Oh god there are so many. HP obviously. I like the Louise Renninson books too. Loads more.

48. Magazine:
- Kerrang.

[do u like.....]
51. Typing:
- What a strange question. Yes.

52: Online?
- What do you think? Of course!

53. Listening:
- Yes

54. Thinking About:
- Oh you know, a bit of this and that.

55. Want To:
- Uh, anything to beat the boredom?

56. Watching:
- I guess.

57. Wearing:
- clothes, preferably anything comfortable.

58. Want Kids?:
- Yes hopefully.

59. Want to Get Married?:
- yes, hopefully.

60. Careers in Mind:
- Primary Teacher or writer.

[choose between...]
67. Cute or Sexy:
- cute

68. Lips or Eyes:
- Eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses:
- Hugs

70. Short or Tall:
- Taller than me

71. Easy going or serious:
- Either or.

73. Fatty or Skinny:
- Inbetween.

72. Romantic or Spontaneous:
- romantic

74. Sensitive or Loud:
- Sensitive

75. Hook-up or Relationship:
- Relationship

76. Sweet or Caring:
- I class that as the same so both.

77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One:
- Haha. Trouble maker.

Kissed a Stranger:
- uh. No I've never done that.

79. Drank Alcohol:
- Yes

80. Smoked:
- Hell no.

81. Ran Away From Home:
- sort of but Not really. I went to a park when my parents were annoying me and they thought I'd ran away.

82. Broken a Bone:
- No

83. Got an X-ray:
- Uh in my mouth. haha

84. Broken Someones Heart:
- Not that I know of.

85. Broke Up With Someone:
- Uh…No.

86. Turned Someone Down:
- Uh…no, not that I remember.

87. Cried When Someone Died:
- Well duh! Yeah I cry whenever anyone in a TV programme dies. And of course in real life too.

88. Cried at school:
- Ha yeah.

[do you believe in]
90. Miracles:
- Sort of

91. Love At First Sight:
- Yes.

92. Ghosts:
- Sorta

93. Aliens:
- I will when I see one.

95. Heaven:
- I will if I get there.

96. Hell:
- see above,

98. Kiss first date:
- I guess

99. Horoscopes:
- Sometimes.

[answer truthfully]
100.Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have?
- of course. Isn't there always?